


Deadpool addresses Dr. Who trolls

by Phillipe363



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: BAMF Wade Wilson, Defending Doctor/River and River agasint haters, Even on the own show with Husbands of River Song mess, Gen, Humor, Not for fans of Rose Tyler/Doctor, Parody, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27520312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipe363/pseuds/Phillipe363
Summary: Three prisoners awake to find themselves under Deadpool who is very cross with them regarding their treatment of the author Phillipe363 who has brought Wade out for a simple reason. To call out the Rose Tyler, Clara and those Doctor/River shippers who, especially for Doctor/River ironically attacked his positive Doctor/River story since he doesn't like the Husbands of River Song episode.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	Deadpool addresses Dr. Who trolls

**Hello**

**So, given that some very rude reviewers have seemed to fail in grasping the don't like so don't read concept I have decided to drag ole Wade Wilson out for calling out these pathetic low lives.**

**Remember this is crack/parody so don't take it seriously.**

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cell inside Stormcage prison

Three people are pressed up against a wall by an invisible force field when suddenly a door opens with a man walks in. The man has had a sci-fi type of gun holstered to his hip and is wearing a long multicolored scarf. A long brown trench coat is on this person. The strangest thing is the man has a red and black bodysuit. There's a red mask with white eye and black around the eyes.

"Hello, I'm Wade Wilson or Deadpool to a lot of people. Decided to borrow some items from one of my shows that I well love at times. Hence why leaving my normal swords and other weapons elsewhere. I don't need them to address you, three morons who just couldn't bother understanding the old don't like it, don't review" Deadpool says.

"What are you going to do with us?" one asks afraid.

"Nothing. Once I leave this force field gets turned off and there's a food machine over there which can make whatever. You get to spend the rest of your lives here. I know my buddy Adrian Chase for getting blessed with fourth wall awareness and used to deal with evil hypocrites on stories written by, Aragorn II Elessar for example, won't be needed dealing with you lot" Deadpool says.

"Why have you brought us here?" another one asks.

"Oh, please you went trashing Phillipe363's work and he decided to bring me out, mostly just to clear up some issues. Two different Doctor and River fans who trash a Doctor/River fic because it's not conforming to their misinformed, easily gullible fan service views. Next is two different Doctor/Rose Tyler fans, one who was pathetic enough to go commenting on the same story on a different site, and the last one is a Whouffle fan, which is the ship name for Doctor/Clara, whose popularity is on Doctor/Rose levels" Deadpool replies "I hence form name you three as Rose4ever, Whouffle Deluded, and 12Rblind. Because 12Rblind is a dig at how you blindly defend the twelfth Doctor and River episode despite not making a whole lot of sense."

"Those are horrible names" one yells.

"Well your horrible people" Deadpool replies "Now, onto the Doctor/River people and you're so gullible because how Husbands of River Song episode is poorly done fan service that you accepted without issue. Like never mind the fact it hurts The Doctor and River's relationship that has been built for the series. Various parts of what you have said are wrong. Like the Doctor never blamed River for Amy's death. Just one more thing you people use to make River into some victim, which is so stupid. Even in a deleted scene to Angels Take Manhattan episode The Doctor is rightfully blaming the Angels" Deadpool says "And oh man were the Angels overused into this silly, overpowered thing that lost all its teeth. The Statue of Liberty as an Angel was laughable pathetic."

"No, it doesn't ruin or retcon nothing. You or the author doesn't know what they are talking about. Matt Smith's Doctor never stuck around for her. The Capaldi Doctor did" 12Rblind says.

"Your wrong. Smith's eleventh Doctor had offered River for traveling with him more than once and River was the one who said no. Despite how you people want to villainize eleventh he did care for River and loved her. Just one example is how he used some of his regeneration energy to heal her broken wrist and like told River he loved her in Name of the Doctor told River goodbye how she wanted it" Deadpool says.

"Eleventh Doctor manipulated her into giving him all her regeneration energy," 12Rblind says outraged.

Laughing "Wrong! Go watch that scene again for how Smith plays it of complete bewilderment for what River was doing given he expected to die. River made that choice on her own to bring the Doctor back to life, and his later rule one was more of just telling her a rule she'll need to know. Probably The Doctor whispered his name into River's ear" Deadpool replies.

"He called her selfish and treated her horrible with tricking River Song into marriage" 12Rblind fires back.

Rolling his eyes "Wow, that was an early selfish River who had not yet grown into who she would be one day and putting all of creation at risk. Meaning yes, The Doctor was rightfully upset at her. Something Moffat thankfully addressed. One more thing River was not complaining all that much about marrying him either which she would have if River didn't want to be. Of course, you would probably blindly accept what Chris Chibnall threw out if he ever used River Song and trashed the twelfth Doctor" Deadpool replies "And River knew the eleventh Doctor cared for her so this whole loves like a sun set is garbage. Just garbage."

"The journal he gave her not realizing how it expressly showed how limited their time was together says otherwise," 12Rblind says.

"Nope, just further retcon crap to again prop up Capaldi's Doc. River knew the Doctor had feelings he returned, just look at how River called him for help more than once. Plus, Professor Song jumping out of a spaceship or off a roof knowing he would recuse her. River told Amy to not let the Doctor see her age because Doctor hates watching people, he loves age and die so obviously River considers herself to be a part of that group. Or you know all that flirting, hand-holding, calling each other pet names, the innuendos, River's constant references to their sex life, so River did not think they were all empty gestures from either side" Deadpool replies "And well a final blow to the whole Husbands of River Song acid trip."

"Really, what's that? You admit to using drugs for these complaints?" 12Rblind says smugly.

"No, I hate drugs, well depending on the author and this one does. The final one is if River spent twenty-four years with Capaldi's Doctor how come in Name of the Doctor, River is wondering how come Matt Smith's version didn't visit her in the Library? As if he was the one to take her on that faithful trip? Oh, right because like originally shown Smith's bow tie-wearing chap did in Last Night mini-episode he did" Deadpool replies.

"Smith's Doctor is horrible because he never took River Song to see the Singing Towers and kept canceling" 12Rblind fires back.

"Oh wow, so Smith's Doctor is the worst since he didn't want to take his wife on a trip knowing her next stop would be River dying by being burned alive. Right, that's a real monster" Deadpool replies in disgust towards their reasons of dislike for grasping at straws "Now please keep quiet, I'm done with you."

"Why don't you be quiet and leave, with taking your defending of that stupid toxic ship elsewhere," Rose4ever says.

Raising up the blaster "You know I've never seen what a sonic blaster can do to a human flesh or maybe I have, and the author is just keeping me from having seen it. Either way, I'm rather curious so please give me a reason" Deadpool replies happily.

Nodding Rose4ever knows now is a good time to shut up.

"Good move, now moving onto Whouffle Deluded" Deadpool says lowering the fun "I don't really have much to say other than your ship seems to be rivaling Doctor/Rose romance fan fiction wise or popularity from what I've seen. Not all that sure why you just can't let this author's story go in peace but just typical old insecurity I guess."

"So, are you going to uh let me go?" Whouffle Deluded asks desperately.

Laughing "Uh no, what do you think this scarf cuts off my airflow or something? You came cussing out the author and demanding he rewrite it. All of you moron's reviewers who trash his story, cussed Phillipe363 out than demanded Phillipe363 rewrite it to suit your flavors? Just shows how dang low you are" Deadpool yells angrily "I may be a lot of things but even for me that's a real scumbag."

All three prisoners' glance at each other nervously because of the man's sudden anger. Especially since the masked man has not raised his voice until now.

"Moving onto the Rose Tyler and Doctor romance fans, ah you're like the rest of your group, the ones who act like this way towards River, who has hated her since day one. Why? For the simple reason of canonically despite everything Russell T Davis did Rose Tyler never got to be canonically The Doctor's wife. You people, in general, hate anything Moffat does simply because he's not RTD. At least have legitimate reasons to dislike the guy, like Phillipe363 or I do" Deadpool says.

"That means nothing, Doctor's married to other women in the show" Rose4ever attempts to dismiss the rather obvious point.

"Really? Canonically The Doctor has been married four times, so the first wife on Gallifrey we know nothing about and when we first see The Doctor in 1963 the only family is Susan. Patrick Troughton's Doc mentioned how his family exists in his head when he wants them to. So, something clearly happened with highly doubt any of it was good" Deadpool says.

"We saw the other two marriages and Doctor has been married many times so his marriage to River means nothing. Even a referenced third one with Cleopatra" Rose4ever says.

"Your right, we have. Only his marriage to Marylin Monroe clearly happened on a spur of the moment The Doctor clearly didn't want or consider valid. And the Tenth Doctor was attempting to trick a Zygon when asking Elizbeth the first, plus ran off at first chance. Cleopatra was only mentioned in and never even said to be one of the Doctor's wives" Deadpool says "The only wife we have seen the Doctor actually care or love about is River Song."

"River's massively egoistical unlike Rose" Rose4ever snarls.

"Yeah okay… what about David Tenant's Doctor? The one you people sometimes see as the only Doctor, the one who gets massively admired with even rivaling Tom Baker's Doc. Only he's one of the biggest egotistical, vanity centered Doctor's. Yet River makes a few lines here or there with getting heavily bashed for it. Saw one-time River Song getting vile hate yet the same person complaining Rose Tyler didn't save the day more and talking wonderfully about how Rose did in the very first episode of the new series" Deadpool replies.

"In Wedding of River Song is River held the universe hostage and forced The Doctor to marriage" Rose4ever yells.

Laughing "Um what show were you watching? The Doctor came up with the idea to ask River to marry him, she had no clue" Deadpool says.

Rose4ever, Whouffle Deluded, and 12Rblind all glance at each other having no more arguments left given they've all been soundly quashed.

"Well now my work here is done I shall be off, got Hugh Jackman to keep convincing on getting him back as Wolverine and no doubt more internet losers to deal with. Bye," Deadpool says cheerily.

Turning around Deadpool casually walks out of the room and after closing the cell door with a mocking wave the force field turns off as Wade Wilson walks off.

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**Hope you all enjoyed this and leave a review if you want.**

**Until next time**


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